Just as in any relationship--communicating expectations, recognizing each
other's preferences / priorities and learning to compromise can go a long way
to promoting organizational harmony at home.
Taking the time to have a frank discussion can help eliminate future
disagreements.
Beginning with
communicating expectations, having each person describe what they hope for in
home organization and maintaining that order is key to understanding
organizational differences. As Russian
novelist, Fyodor Dostoyevsky once said, “Much unhappiness has come into the
world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid.” A significant other may have no idea that the
person they are living with does not care whether the mail is sorted every day
or that the house is picked up each evening.
He or she will be silently sulking if they fail to communicate this
expectation to their less organized significant other.
Recognizing each
individual’s preferences for cleanliness and order can also help define where
each person devotes their time and energy in the home. One individual may find it easy to keep the
counters clutter free. At the same time,
the person who stacks piles upon the counters may be very dedicated to keeping
an orderly lawn and a well-organized garden.
Most couples can identify what is important to them and then take on
that responsibility.
When it becomes
difficult to agree on the level of organization in common spaces, compromise
can be a powerful tool. Going back to
the example where one person prefers sorting the mail daily and the other
person can care less if the mail accumulates on the counter for two weeks,
proposing a workable compromise can help meet both individual’s preferences. The person who prefers sorting the mail daily
could propose to sort his or her mail only.
That person could then offer to set up an inbox that is not located on
the counter for the other person, who can then sort their mail at their leisure. This type of compromise can work for larger
spaces too. The person who is not as
tidy and organized may propose having a room that is “theirs” only. This room does not have to meet the
organizational expectations of the other.
However, in exchange for this space, the less organized individual may
agree to help keep the remainder of the home up to the organizational standards
of their partner.
Whether your
relationship is new—or you and your partner have been battling this issue for
years, taking the time to talk about something as simple as how each of you
prefer to organized your spaces is a fantastic way to avoid unnecessary arguments.
