Opposites Attract . . . Just Not Organizationally

The phrase "opposites attract" may be true for some romantic relationships, but once that honeymoon period is over, being opposites in organizational styles can be an everyday challenge.  One person may feel frustrated at the piles that accumulate on counters and tables while the other becomes frustrated that the piles keep getting cleaned up.  So, how do individuals that share a space, but not the same organizational styles, live together peacefully?

Just as in any relationship--communicating expectations, recognizing each other's preferences / priorities and learning to compromise can go a long way to promoting organizational harmony at home.  Taking the time to have a frank discussion can help eliminate future disagreements.

Beginning with communicating expectations, having each person describe what they hope for in home organization and maintaining that order is key to understanding organizational differences.  As Russian novelist, Fyodor Dostoyevsky once said, “Much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid.”  A significant other may have no idea that the person they are living with does not care whether the mail is sorted every day or that the house is picked up each evening.  He or she will be silently sulking if they fail to communicate this expectation to their less organized significant other.

  

Recognizing each individual’s preferences for cleanliness and order can also help define where each person devotes their time and energy in the home.  One individual may find it easy to keep the counters clutter free.  At the same time, the person who stacks piles upon the counters may be very dedicated to keeping an orderly lawn and a well-organized garden.  Most couples can identify what is important to them and then take on that responsibility.

When it becomes difficult to agree on the level of organization in common spaces, compromise can be a powerful tool.  Going back to the example where one person prefers sorting the mail daily and the other person can care less if the mail accumulates on the counter for two weeks, proposing a workable compromise can help meet both individual’s preferences.  The person who prefers sorting the mail daily could propose to sort his or her mail only.  That person could then offer to set up an inbox that is not located on the counter for the other person, who can then sort their mail at their leisure.  This type of compromise can work for larger spaces too.  The person who is not as tidy and organized may propose having a room that is “theirs” only.  This room does not have to meet the organizational expectations of the other.  However, in exchange for this space, the less organized individual may agree to help keep the remainder of the home up to the organizational standards of their partner. 

Whether your relationship is new—or you and your partner have been battling this issue for years, taking the time to talk about something as simple as how each of you prefer to organized your spaces is a fantastic way to avoid unnecessary arguments.